Seriously..

I don't get why some parents, especially those that are not very educated, go around telling their friends and relatives about all the bad stuff about their children. Like, don't they realise that in doing so, they are kind of announcing to the whole world about their failure as a parent? If your child ends up getting in trouble or doing something wrong, it is the parent's fault as well and not entirely the child's fault. Yes, it is the child's fault for making that mistake, but it is the fault of the parent for failing to give the proper guidance and education to the child that ended up having the child make the wrong decisions and choices.

And shouldn't parents try to encourage, support and motivate their children for them to succeed in life? Then what is the purpose of them going around telling other people everything negative about their child? is that suppose to motivate them? Some parents seriously need to reflect on themselves, because at the end of the day, it is their actions that influences the child in every aspects of their lives.

Closing on another chapter in my life.. Awaiting a new and hopefully better chapter..=)

Yay! I managed to lose 2kg in the past week or so. Happy! Quite happy with my weight now, 48kg! Going to try and maintain it  at 48kg. =D

Another week and 2 days and I will no longer be in the company anymore. Quite happy cause I don’t need to do shit job anymore, sad cause I will miss the friends I’ve made there dearly. =( But hopefully, if I do study Psychology at MDIS, I will be able to meet up with them still cause the campus is near the office. I have already got confirmation from MDIS that I got in for the September intake. I’m about 70% confirmed that I will most probably be going back to studies after my contract ends. In the mean time, I am going to try volunteering at IMH or somewhere to get a feel of the job to be sure that that will be a job I want to do for the rest of my life! Don’t want anymore mistakes and wasted time. Just want to go full speed ahead with my future career and life.

Dear is out of job again. He left his last job just a few days ago. I’m worried, worried about money, worried about him being able to make payments on time, worried that history will repeat itself. I do not want to go through that difficult period again! =( He said he will go get a part time job in the mean time. Hopefully he will be able to find one soon. I do not want to touch too much into my completion bonus. Want to save it for our phuket trip in July! But I’ve just got to have faith in him that he will take care of things.

The company was quite horrible. I think I have spoken about it before in one of my previous entry. The last straw came when his GM was making life difficult for him. Calling him and telling him he should be at suntec convention hall at 8am for some seminar, but when he rushed down, it turns out to be a road show and he went unprepared cause his GM did not inform him about bring anything. This was like one of the many few times his GM have tried to ‘sarboh’ him already. Another time was when he asked dear to ask around to see how many people will be going for this talk on a certain date, but the GM did not confirm with him the time. He asked his GM a few times before to confirm the timing, but he never confirm with him. And then one day he just asked how many people were going. Dear haven’t even asked yet because that stupid GM didn’t confirm timing. How can you ask people to confirm with you if they will be going for a talk if you never let them know the timing? What happens if the talk is after working hours and people have already made plans? The way they run the company is really stupid. When payday came, he only received less then half of what they promised him. No matter how he tried to calculate, he could not derive the amount they had given to him. Everybody else’s pay in the company were also short by a lot. And worse thing is, they refuse to give everybody a payslip, saying that they don’t do payslip. Really shady company, so dishonest, underpay their workers and still expect them to give them results. If any of you get a call from a company called ‘Acsendo Consulting Pte Ltd’ for a job interview for whatever position, do not go. They are a scam and a very dishonest company. Dear was given a Senior Marketing Manager position, but his job scope was nothing close to that. He was practically doing sales everyday and going out to meet clients. I told him to leave if he didn’t like the job, because I felt that if they were going to pay him less then half every month, then it’s no point. It will just be as good as going back to square one. Pay is such an important thing to everyone, because everyone needs to eat, needs to pay bills. Who will be willing to work for you when you constantly cut their pay for no reason or for any reason that isn’t even substantial enough?

Anyways, I can’t wait for July! Can’t wait to go on our 1^st ever overseas trip! It’s going to be perfect! =D

CLEO runway search 2011!

Last week has been a pretty exciting and nerve-wreaking week for me. I was shortlisted as one of the 15 finalist in CLEO’s runway search. The whole experience have been really special and it gave me an inside experience of what it is like to be a runway model. I was really delighted and surprised when CLEO called back to inform me that I was selected for the finals. I totally couldn’t believe it; I wasn’t even expecting their call because I thought that I had screwed up my auditions.

You could imagine my jubilations on hearing I got into the finals, but after an hour or so that went by, by jubilations turned into fear and nervousness. I was worried I would trip and fumble on the runway and the horrors if I actually fell on stage and every seconds of my fall captured on camera like a slow frame-by-frame movie!

After that, it was just nerve wreaking thought after nerve wreaking thought because I wasn’t the most confident on heels. I rarely wear heels because I was already tall enough, according to a lot of people, without them, plus the fact that I don’t really have any official training or experience on how to catwalk on the runway.

My nerves were slightly soothed when I received a call back from CLEO informing me on the photo shoot, training, fitting and rehearsal dates. TRAINING! Thank God there’s training!

DAY 1: Photo shoot

I was pretty excited about it! You know how all girls are, just like getting a make over and taking pretty pictures. I admit, I am no different in that area. =P My one concern was that I didn’t know how to pose and move to get the right angle for the camera and was hoping the cameraman would be really nice to guide me and try to take the best shots of me. The hair and make up part was really nice. The make up artist was really, really good. However, the photo shoot was not as glamorous as I thought it would be. I was told to do a short catwalk towards the camera (Crap! I don’t know how to catwalk!) in 4 inch heels (that were not very fitting and I felt like falling at every step!), I tried a few times and failed miserably. I kept tripping, I didn’t know if it was me or the shoes, but GOSH it was embarrassing! The spot lights were really hot as well and I was sweating like mad. And throughout my whole ordeal, a camera was filming everything down. As usual, after my photo shoot, I felt really lousy and was praying really hard the ‘tripping’ video of me would not go viral. However, I told myself I would work really hard during the 2 sessions of training to improve on my walk.

DAY 1: Training (night time)

Training was at Carrie models office. I was psyched up to be really attentive and hardworking during class. Turns out there is so much more to a catwalk then just walking up and down, doing a few turns and posing. Surprisingly, a catwalk can be just as complex as playing golf. =/ You need to know which leg to start of with, which way to turn, how the place your feet when posing so that you do not lose balance and how to pose so that you will look shapely and tall. I was almost overwhelmed by the end of the class. I knew I needed more practice.

DAY 2: Fitting

I started the day feeling excited about fitting. However, the whole experience turned out to be rather horrible. The person in charge of us was being really rude and arrogant, treating all of us like pieces of meat to be slapped around. I thought fitting would be about finding a dress / clothes that fit our body shape and getting in our correct sizes. What they did was try to best fit the clothes that they brought to whoever could fit them best and using safety pins to tighten clothes that were too big. Even if the shoes were too big for our feet, in my case, 2 sizes too big, we still had to wear them and walk in them. That got me very worried and increased my fears of falling on the runway. Not pleasant at all. I think if we were more well-known and famous, we would have been treated with more respect. =/ Saw a bit of the not so nice side of modeling.

DAY 3: Training session 2

I was geared up and ready to show our trainer how much I have improved with the practices I have been doing when I could. Everything was much better then the first time and we were thrown more things to learn. Needed to go back and practice some more. Saw Singapore’s Top model, Shelia Sim before the start of the class, she was at Carrie models for an interview, I’m guessing it was for the Audi Fashion Festival since she was the face for the event. Some of the girls got excited about it, I didn’t know her name then, have only seen her face on magazines, so I was totally clueless. 0_0

DAY 4:

Finally a day of rest! But I did some practicing to increase my confidence on the runway.

DAY 5: Rehearsal from 9pm-11pm

Pretty excited about it. Was rather fun and I realized the song choice for the runway is so important cause it helps you to walk better if you follow the beat of the song. However, saw the ugly side of professional models. They are really stuck up and unfriendly as people say they are. Of the whole group of about 20 of them, only 1 was friendly enough to smile at us.

DAY 6: Actual Event

As much as I dislike them professional models’ attitude, I still have a certain level of respect for them. Their ability to look confident while walking down a runway in front of hundreds and something thousands of people. Everybody was at the tent at 12pm and already people were hustling and bustling before we arrived due to events packed before ours. From 12-5pm was all just a mad rush of getting our hair, make up and wardrobe done to perfection. When the time of the start of our event arrived, we were all waiting back stage at our starting positions getting ready to strut our stuff on the runway. It was the most nerve wreaking, butterflies-fluttering-in-the-stomach moment ever! But thank goodness everything went pretty smoothly and I didn’t not stumble nor fall on the runway. The real experience itself was pretty liberating I must say. =)

Overall, it was an experience of a lifetime, especially on the actual day itself. =) It may have been a short one week of preparations and hard work, but I met some really nice people, learnt a lot of new things and it is an experience I will never forget. I’m awaiting for the new issue of CLEO, don’t know if I’ll have my pictures in the magazine, but I hope to be able to get print outs of the photos taken at the photo shoot to keep as memories.

http://audifashionfestival.com/Site/photogallery5

For those who are interested, there are 2 photos of me on the Audi fashion festival website. The pictures are pretty alright, though I’m still not 100% satisfied with them because my eyes were being really uncooperative that day (like one big one small), but doesn’t matter, a few pictures is till better then none. =)

Really touched by all the support from my friends, colleague and my dear throughout this whole experience. They kept encouraging me and edging me on. Let's just say i am not the most confident person in the world, so i'm really glad to have them there to support me. =)

Love ya'll deep deep!

I think this is the end. There is most likely no chance for me to stay on in the company. As much as i do not want to, it is sad to say good bye too all my lovely colleagues, but i believe God must have better plans for me. I really hope my next step and decision will be a better and right one.

Dear God, I am putting my trust and faith in you now.

Heart don't fail me now, courage don't desert me.