I spent quite some time talking to Dear yesterday and I finally see what is the truth more clearly now. Though there are still a bit of grey areas here and there, but at least I see more clearly now who is telling the truth.
Here are what bullshit she has been telling me and their mother:
1) He never fork out a single cent for the house.
- They went to HDB yesterday to transfer the name of the house and she again, for don’t know whatever stupid reason, said that he never paid a single cent for the house. Dear was irritated and asked the person to print out the statement to show her that he did fork out money for the house. Enough said.
2) She keeps saying that he gets himself into debt.
- Dear said he has never had debts, only this time. He admits he has borrowed money from his mum before, but it was to pay for 2 months rent for the fishing shop he used to own and another $4k, for whatever reason I do not know. Other then that, there was no debts and I think the reason he was unable to pay his shop rent was because of the case with his dad last time.
3) He never took out a single cent to help during the period their dad was giving them problems.
- His dad sued him and wanted to get a protection order against him saying that his son beat him. Would you have took out money to help in that situation? Anyways, his dad was always going to his fishing shop last time to help himself to the money in the cash register. I think that should be counted as putting in many cents to ‘help’ their dad.
4) It is a norm for him to be out of job after working 1-3 years.
- That is what I mean by jumping to conclusion. Did you ever bothered to ask and understand why he left the job? NO.. You just plainly assume he didn’t want to work cause of politics.
- His first job he left because it was during recession period and all the car industries were doing very badly.
- After that, he worked at a restaurant and bar as a Manager and got backstabbed and bad mouthed by people. He left because it wasn’t an industry he wanted to work in all his life, which I find is a reasonable reason cause there is nothing wrong with knowing what you want to do in life.
- Next, he started his own fishing shop. His father went and ruined it for him.
- Then the next company he joined, he did very well. He resigned because his senior manager felt threatened by his abilities and was doing all sorts of very despicable things to stop his promotion and force him to leave the company.
- Next company again, he was doing well again and then some idiot in the company throws a project at him to do and before the project can take flight, decides to cancel it and blames dear for the losses made. Subsequently, they started to deduct his pay every month.
- And finally, the last company, he was doing very well yet again and then the bosses started to do the exact same thing, except they didn’t cut his pay, but they delayed his commission every month and when he wanted to leave, didn’t even want to pay him his commission.
Do you even know all these? I bet not. Would you have continued to stay in the company under those horrible situations? Still dare to say you know him for 30years and that you know him well. Load of shit if you as me, when you are constantly travelling and hardly in Singapore. He gave up many good opportunities to work overseas because of your constant travelling so that there would at least be someone still in Singapore to look after your mum. He could have been rich by now.
The rest are more of less responsibility thrown at him because he is the man in the family. If your own family member is the sole-bread winner, struggling to make ends meet and is unable to do so himself, would you not step in to help? Wouldn’t anybody? That is what I do not see her doing. She flies off to Hong Kong and only comes back when she feels like it and only stays for a few days each time. She still talks about how dear never helps out with household chores and only does his own room. Are you ever around to see him do household chores? NO. When your mum is working, he does the chores, how is she to know he did do housework? You expect him to every time when your mum returns home and tell her he did the chores today? And how is he to help with chores when his job required him to work on weekends sometimes as well? How is he to do chores when during weekdays he has to work at 10.30pm till 2-5am and be back at office at around 12noon the next day?
You know how to talk, but I don’t see you doing anything. If you actually cared so much about your mum, you would have gone and find a job to work, like how you said you wanted to, so you can give your mum more money to retire and not care that you would have to sacrifice a bit of personal time with your husband or at least come back more often then you do to help your mum at home or hire a maid. There was so much you could have done, but you never bothered. Just conveniently throw all responsibility to your brother.
He has not repaid your mum the money he owes her last time because he doesn’t have enough for himself because he has bills to pay. And before he had bills to pay, his starting pay was around $1600.
And what is this shit about him having a lot of shoes? He has bought a pair of shoes in a VERY long time and only bought one or two recently because his old shoes were worn out and broken. He can’t wear the shoes he bought a long time ago because they are out of fashion or the glue at the sole would never hold from not being worn in a long time or it wouldn’t fit his feet anymore. If you want to talk about him having a lot of shoes, why not we talk about why do you need so many branded bags for?
So ya! Stop asking your brother to reflect on himself. He has and he has admitted to his mistakes and trying hard to amend things. Reflect on the horrible way you have been treating your brother all these years and your horrible action of making things worse instead!
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